


Cas, buddy... - Destiel

by Free_To_Be_You_And_Me



Category: SPN, Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Purgatory, purgastory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 03:40:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5612563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Free_To_Be_You_And_Me/pseuds/Free_To_Be_You_And_Me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A purgatory Destiel headcanon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cas, buddy... - Destiel

There are many ways to say I love you such as: a peck on the cheek; a simple “I need you” or even just saying the three words themselves. Dean had never been good at telling people how he felt. He always managed to fuck it all up one way or another. This time? He wasn't going to let anybody get in his way.

The dark, scarred trees loom over them both. Far off in the distance he can hear them- the howls, the screams of agony but most of all the voices threatening the trench coated angel in front of him. He knows saving Cas is near impossible. He has known it all along. The price on an angel's head is just far too high. But God be damned if he wasn't going to try.  
There's something about him, this Winchester. Something in his eyes which screams pure determination. He has the kind of attitude you just know won't give in but he also has a stubbornness burning deep within his heart. He struggles to express what he feels, and how he feels it, but he never gives up without a fight.  
Sometimes life is unpredictable. Mortality has this way of screwing you up in a way you'd least expect. Dean's fuck up took the form of an angel. Not the particular angel on a shoulder you'd expect, but instead an angel of the lord who had taken Dean Winchester as his charge. They were destined from day one, with an unbreakable profound bond.  
The day Dean was gripped tight and raised from perdition set a new course and determined a new path in his life. He was chiseled into a new form of being with a seemingly alternate purpose to his predetermined life.  
The first time he met Castiel sparks flew- literally- and it wasn't any of this love at first sight bullshit, in fact it wasn't love at all; it was a curiousity, a confusion and a little rage. This creature had saved him but left him to dig himself out of a six foot grave. He had saved him but it was obvious an ulterior motive was in play. But he had saved him. Didn't that one fact disregard all the others? Perhaps but it wasn't until now he realised.  
Maybe he had realised before. Maybe he had buried his deep set feelings out of fear or perhaps embarrassment. Maybe he had been too self centred and confused to believe the truth. But now he knew for sure. He knows for sure the truth of his feelings.  
They say that it takes a futile experience to realise your true feelings. The same can be said about Dean. He wouldn't admit his feelings to himself until faced with almost certain death. He can't bear to let Cas leave this world without the truth  
“Cas, buddy...” Cas looks up at his mortal friend with a soft smile. His eyes are warm and clear- the colour of a cloudless sky on a Thursday afternoon. Even with the bags under his eyes and the rugged trenchcoat hugging him loosely, he's still Cas. Castiel- an angel of the lord and Dean's saviour.  
He walks forward slowly. Behind his back in a clenched first he holds an angel blade. Castiel stands from his previous crouched position by the lake.  
And Dean does it. Before he can think straight his hand grips the back of Cas' neck firmly. Rugged pants escape his chapped lips. Sobs rack up at the back of his throat. He looks down and there is blood, so much blood. This isn't like it normally is. This is blood of a man he knows, loves, a man he considers family. This blood causes his chest to tighten and his heart to ache.  
His fist loosens around the blade. Castiel falls to the floor, choking as blood pools in his mouth. His eyes are no longer clear and cloudless- they burn bright blue as his grace fades.  
Dean stands still, shell shocked. He had to do this. He had to. They would kidnap him, torture him and hurt him more than Dean ever could. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let Cas experience anymore pain. He had to.   
With his final breath Castiel whispers,  
“I love you, Dean.” And Dean doesn't reply.


End file.
